Hello Dallas + Why I Moved From Seattle

It's been a little over a month since moving to Dallas, and I figure I owe you all a bit of an explanation for my move. I was a little quiet on why I was moving, and although I gave you all a brief explanation on Instagram back in October I wanted to delve a little deeper on the reasons why I left Seattle. As many of you know my blog is a place to be open and honest about my life and what's happening, and if even one of you can relate to what I was going through and I can somehow help you through it with my story, then great! This post is essentially for those of you who have moved somewhere and, well, absolutely knew it wasn't for you. But don't worry, my story has a happy ending!

In the post where I said I was moving to Dallas, I basically said Seattle just wasn't the city for me. That was the very basic and vague way of saying that I absolutely did not like it in the city. Is Seattle a great place to visit? YES! Would I love to go spend time there in the future? Definitely. Would I ever move back there? Not if you paid me a million dollars. (Well...maybe if you actually paid me a million dollars, ha!) I desperately wanted to love Seattle, and for about the first week I did. It was probably just the excitement of moving, living alone with my best friend for the first time, and exploring a new city. But after that first week things drastically changed for me. I'm no stranger about talking about my mental health on here, and this time was before I went and saw a therapist and got on medication. I fell into a huge depression, one that was much different from the grief with the loss of my parents, but definitely didn't exclude that either. Maybe it was the fact that my new apartment was directly across the street from the hospital where my mom passed away or maybe it was just all the life changes, but deep in my gut I just felt horrible about everything. I could barely make time to enjoy the things I liked and I wasn't sure what to do.

Things definitely improved after getting on my medication (BLESS) but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was still wrong. About a month after moving I realized Seattle wasn't where I was supposed to be. I kept bringing it up to my sister who told me to give the city a fair try, and I did try. My best friend and I went out, tried new places, explored, and still that feeling was there. I want to be clear and say that the city itself wasn't at fault here. Seattle is such a cool place with so many fun things to do, but it just wasn't home. I always felt like a stranger trying to fit in to a place that didn't want to welcome me. The people were friendly, but I only made one friend while in the city and she worked in my building. It wasn't ideal.

I sat with the idea of moving for a long time before speaking up to my best friend. I was absolutely terrified she would hate me when I told her I wanted to leave. This was because every time someone asked how we liked the city she would go on and on about how great it was and how much we loved it. I never answered those questions, I just let her talk because I didn't want to tell the truth. I was pretty much worsening my depression by keeping things bottled up, and it was a huge load off of my shoulders when I finally came clean and told Steph that I needed to move. We had a big cry and emotional discussion, but in the end it was better to have everything out in the open. Seattle was making me more depressed and I had to move once our lease was up whether she was coming with me or not. I was already researching apartments in Dallas by the time I had told her about my feelings.

Texas was on the short list for moving to when Steph and I were deciding to leave Orange County. I thought I would fit in, there was a large blogging community, and I just had a feeling about it. I visited Dallas in October and had the best time. Obviously I was still nervous that the same feelings would creep back like they did in Seattle, but I had to give it another chance. I leased my new apartment in February (with a few nervous breakdowns because of my fears) and moved in at the beginning of March. It's been a whole new world here in Dallas, in the best way possible.

I absolutely love it here, guys. I LOVE it. I honestly never thought I would say that about the city I was living in. I had never felt 100% about a place, even when I was in my hometown I was dreaming about other places, but here I am having the best time. I very much miss my best friend and my family, but with technology it makes it easy to feel much closer. It's crazy how much of a difference a home and location makes, because I seriously feel like I'm the happiest I've ever been. Even when thing go wrong (like movers breaking some things...) it didn't bother me all that much because I had found a place I loved. It sounds silly, but this move has turned my life around. I already have an amazing group of friends that I love and feel like I've known for years, and I'm upset I didn't get here sooner. I feel like I belong here, and am completely happy, even if I'm just sitting in a Starbucks writing a blog post. In all honesty I didn't know it was possible to feel this good, haha!

I know this was a long post to read, but I hope if you're in the same situation I was in that maybe this gave you the confidence to do something to change it. I know not everyone's circumstances are the same as mine and you might not be able to up and move, but I want you to know that when you can, the possibility to be happy is right around the corner. I also wanted to thank you all for being so patient with me here on my blog and on Instagram. It's been a bit of a struggle to get back into my routine, but I'm trying to step back in at a pace that works for me, especially here on the blog. I don't want to post just to post, I want to share content that I think you all would enjoy and relate to! So here's to happiness and getting back into the swing of things!