What To Do When You Lose A Pet

Last Tuesday my family had to put down my little sweetheart Baby due to kidney disease. This isn't my first time losing one of my cats though. In middle school and high school I lost the two cats I had had since birth, two other tough losses. Baby's passing, however feels different somehow. I think it's because I was here from the start of him and his brother Tux's introduction into our family, whereas with my old cats they were already older than I was, and my parents had raised them from kittens to 20+ years old. Obviously I loved them dearly, but I feel I've taken Baby's death much harder than theirs. Baby was one of my best friends, and will forever be a part of me.  

I was having a rough time these past few days, and decided to google what others have said about the loss of a pet, but didn't really find anything. So I decided to write a post of my own to maybe help someone out there if they unfortunately have to go what I'm going through now. This is just what has personally worked for me in helping, at least a little in Baby's passing. Hopefully this advice will help someone else as well.

1. Don't Be Selfish

We had known for a few years that Baby had kidney disease. He was getting by and was happy as can be, but the weekend before his passing he was suddenly not himself. He wasn't eating or drinking, and spent all of his time on the floor and trying to hide from us. It was clear that something was wrong, but we all, myself especially, wanted to pretend that it wasn't as bad as it was. If your pet isn't acting like themselves, especially if they aren't eating or drinking, take them to the vet to see what's happening. Hopefully it's just a cold, but if it is something more serious, I urge you to think about how your pet wants to spend his/her last days. If they will be suffering in any way and aren't going to be able to live "their best life" then consider putting them out of their suffering. For Baby, he had gone into liver failure, and there's nothing we could have done, unless we wanted to give him fluids to keep him for another few days, which would have been completely unfair to do to him. I made this my first piece of advice because it was so hard for me to see that it was my cat's time to go, since I didn't want my time with him to end. Please please please don't be selfish with your pet's time.

2. Allow Yourself To Grieve

I've been crying all week. I cried when I thought he was just sick and might get better, I cried when my mom said we should make an appointment with the vet, and I cried when he took his final breath in my arms. I cried and cried and cried, and I'm still crying. If you're like me, your pets are your best friends. They've been with you for years, you can talk with them about anything, and they are your family. Losing a pet is a huge loss, and it will take a lot of time, so let yourself grieve as long as you need to.

3. Let Your Other Pets Grieve

Baby's brother Tux is still with us and we were worried how he was going to take Baby's passing. We normally have a vet come to our home, but unfortunately she was booked that day, so we took Baby to a pet hospital, but then brought him home for our regular vet to pick him up that night. Our vet said it was important to let Tux see Baby's body, so we let him come up to him, smell him, and notice that he wasn't reacting to him anymore. It's an important step in your other pet's grieving process so they have some understanding that he/she is gone and that they weren't taken somewhere and never came back. Tux still searches for Baby in the house, which is 100% normal. It's very sad to watch, but eventually they will come to understand. Pets can grieve just like humans, especially if your pets knew each other for many many years. Try your best to give them some extra love during this time, it's hard for them too.

4. Always Remember The Good Times

Try your best not to remember your pet as sick or in pain, they wouldn't want you to have that as your last memories of them. It helps me to remember all the cute little things that were just so "Baby." Things like how he liked to sharpen his claws on walls, even though he didn't have any. If you focus on the happy times, it will hopefully bring you happiness instead of sadness. Do I still think of all the cute things he used to do and cry about it because I miss him? Of course I do. But I want to remind myself of these happy memories of him so that I will always have them in my mind when I think of him in the future.

Sorry this post was a little different and more personal than normal, but I really felt like I needed to write this, even if it was just to help myself in this process. Hopefully this will reach someone who needs it.

Dedicated to Baby, AKA: My sweet little prince, Buhbee, Babel, Signature prime Baby, Mr.Baby, Pretty boy. I hope you gained your claws over the Rainbow Bridge.